Today’s International Women’s Day and this years theme is #PressforProgress and gender parity… but I’d like to take a moment to speak directly to women who’ve become mothers and still wish to pursue professional endeavours while being available for their family…
Creators Nest was inspired by women just like you!
While I’ve always maintained a professional identity, even with children in tow I did for a period of time let my personal dreams take a back seat and found the results to be more of a disadvantage to myself and my family. So in this post I hope to encourage and inspire you to reconsider setting your dreams aside and would like to know what Creators Nest could do help you?
Believe me, I understand the challenges you’re facing, wanting to be there for your children, I chose self employment to be available for my family even before I had a family.
I distinctly remember in my youth observing mothers who resented letting go of their professional dreams in order to be there for their children and then seeing how difficult it was for them to overcome the self doubt or lack of self confidence when they finally had their time back, with children at school or after they left home. So from a very early age I decided I wasn’t going to be one of those women. I wanted a family, but I also wanted to maintain a sense of self outside motherhood and marriage.
Despite my early commitment to myself, to not become one of those women who end up resenting their family, for a period of time I did let my own dreams take a back seat in order to provide for everyone else’s needs, which resulted in a loss of self confidence that then spiralled down into a whirl pool of self doubt. This was quite a dark period and I didn’t want to let the world know what I was struggling with because I felt guilty, thinking I was being selfish for wanting to put my own needs ahead of everyone else’s.
As a result I really started to believe I had no value, not even as a mother or a wife. While at the time it seemed it was just the physical isolation I was experiencing, living so far out of town working at home alone with hardly any interaction with another human being, until my family returned home from their daily activities in town. I’ve since realised that this feeling of isolation can happen anywhere to anyone, but particularly mums who spend their day’s looking out for everyone else’s needs while neglecting their own.
Fortunately for me, I had a wake up call… while difficult to experience it made me realise the importance of maintaining a strong sense of self and purpose, outside of motherhood & being a wife. Shifting focus to ensuring I have enough time to empower myself, I now have richer relationships with both my children and husband.
So, I’d like to encourage you to make time for some small but considered steps towards working on your dreams… the results will be empowering.
Take some time to really think about how not pursuing your own personal dreams would truly affect you… would you end up resenting the beautiful little beings you have in your care because you feel like life is all about them and there is not time for you anymore. Equally, would you feel resentment towards your partner working long hours day after day to provide you with the ‘freedom’ to be home and not have to work?
You may think that this would not affect you, but let me ask you this? What do you desire for you personally, have you ‘always’ wanted to have your own beautiful little boutique or spend your days creating gorgeous creations that enable you to loose yourself in your work and then have people appreciate and buy your pieces? Or have you always dreamed of becoming mum’s taxi, the house keeper, cook and pick up after everyone… it’s completely fine if that’s what you’ve always wanted to do, but I’m guessing you’re reading this because you have in fact always dreamt of doing something of your own, that represents who you are! I’m here to tell you, you can do both… I know this from experience, as I do just that.
I’m not trying to mislead you here, it is not necessarily the easiest option, but I can assure you it is far more rewarding. While I was studying Collective Entrepreneurship, Lisa Messager founder of the Collective Hub and co-creator of the course I was doing through Torrens University often said to us in our ‘Lisa Live’ tutorial sessions; “You need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.” This is true for many aspects of life.
As a mother it can be easy to see someone like Lisa Messenger and say, well it’s easy for her to say, she doesn’t have children. So let’s look at someone who does, Brené Brown who says; “You can have courage or you can have comfort, but you can’t have both!” Brené Brown’s a mother and a wife… and quite an influential public figure these days, who’s definitely become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Are you now thinking; but Brené Brown’s super intelligent!
There are many more examples of empowered mothers who’ve managed family and career so let’s use them as our muse for the possibilities of what our lives could be rather than focus on what we can’t do. These women don’t have super powers, they weren’t born with something you lack, they’ve just made a commitment to strengthen their talents and pursue their individual dreams… talents unique to them and their personal ability, which we all have!
So now it’s your turn… make this year the year you work towards pursuing your own personal dreams and strengthen your talents!
Let go of the limiting beliefs such as: “I don’t have time; everybody else needs me; I don’t have the skills; I don’t know where to start”… instead make way for empowerment. Work in a little bit of time each week, each day if possible, to write down your ideas, work out what you need to do to acquire the skills required to transform one of those ideas into reality. Celebrate the achievement and then work on the next one… little by little you’ll be build a collection of small accomplishments that’ll lead to empowerment.
Doing this will not take away from the quality of your family life, it’ll add to it!
Like anything, maintaining a healthy body requires commitment to eating well and living actively… maintaining a stimulated mind requires exercising your thinking… so too does maintaining a healthy happy family and work life, getting the results you wish to achieve requires planning, practice & persistence.
When you feel empowered your family will benefit too. Don’t delay any longer.
I’d like to know how Creators Nest can help you push through the barriers that are holding you back. I’m working on some workshop ideas to facilitate women to do just that… break through the barriers… let me know what you think you need to overcome or understand before moving forward?
What would you like to know, what would you like to overcome?
Is it how to manage your time?
How to pick from all your ideas and make one happen?
How to choose what to do next…?
How to start making some money off an idea?
Let me take a moment here to express that there’s absolutely no shame in wishing to make money for yourself, even if you don’t ‘have to’ because your husband or partner earns enough to cover your family’s needs. There’s nothing more empowering than having someone willing to part with their hard earned money and invest it in your creations or venture. It’s both an honour and a blessing… one which will then enable you to create more as well as stand on your own two feet as and individual.
Leave your response to what you need help with in the comments.
It’s my wish that more mum’s take their talents and use them to realise their dreams so that more families can benefit from the empowerment that comes from doing so.
Looking forward to seeing you soar too!
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